


Adam’s Song

by ihadtothinkaboutdis1



Category: The Voice (US) RPF
Genre: Angst, Angsty Adam, F/M, M/M, NOT AN OFFICIAL MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH, PAY ATTENTION TO TAGS AND WARNING, Poor Adam, Self-Harm, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, even I have questions, idk where Blake is, i’m truly sorry for this, kinda pining!adam, no happiness for adam, oof, or if your like me, this doesn’t really make sense, this is why I’m not a valid writer, where have the band mates gone?, you can call it a death, you can pretend he’s still alive cuz u don’t want to be eternally sad, you have to squint to see shevine
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-03
Updated: 2019-01-03
Packaged: 2019-10-03 20:33:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 954
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17290931
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ihadtothinkaboutdis1/pseuds/ihadtothinkaboutdis1
Summary: ⚠️ SELF-HARM ⚠️ Do not read it you are triggered by this.Summary: Adam is REALLY SAD





	Adam’s Song

**Author's Note:**

  * For [nothinglasts222](https://archiveofourown.org/users/nothinglasts222/gifts).



Could his life get any worse? Behati left yesterday, with Dusty Rose and Gio. She had filed for a divorce two months ago and it was final now. She had full custody of Dusty and Gio too.  
So there Adam sat, puffy red eyes still reading over the crumpled note Behati had left before she was gone for good.  
Sorry Adam,  
I can’t live with you anymore.  
I don’t love you anymore.  
That’s it.  
I’m moving to NY. Goodbye.

He’d been up all night crying. It wasn’t just because of Behati. NO ONE wanted him. No one loved him. Even Blake. Just thinking of the name wracked sobs from Adam’s weak and cold body. “It’s so cold, so empty. Without anybody.” Adam whispered to himself in between tears. Maybe this would be his destiny. Cold and lonely forever. What a great curse.

Days continued like this. Nothing changed. Adam never left his lonely mansion. His fridge had plenty of food, and it wasn’t like he ate in the first place.  
Yesterday Adam was feeling sorry for himself and grabbed the closest thing to him from the fridge. He didn’t even glance at what us was. He swallowed about 5 smallish bites until realizing it was Gio’s baby food. While sulking back to his couch, he swore to not eat for the next 24 hours. It wasn’t hard to fulfill that promise and soon it was 36 hours until he had a small peach yogurt. The yogurt tasted like his salty tears that sometimes ended up in his mouth, and Adam sighed, wishing he had never eaten the yogurt. It would’ve been more impressive if he went longer anyways. 

This all reminded him of when one day Blake wasn’t eating anything and Adam was as worried as someone could get. Blake didn’t tell him what was wrong until the end of the day when he said,  
“Luke dared me to not eat all of today and to not tell you why until the end of the day, cuz I did’n go fishin’ with him last Sunday. I felt bad Adam! But a dare is a dare.”  
Adam remembered punching him over and over and then laughing.  
“You dipshit! Next time GO FISHING WITH EFFING LUKE BRYAN. I’m going to kill him and you! Don’t cost me my life worrying about you! I didn’t know what was up with you! I...uh...eating disorders are scary Blake. And I...didn’t know.” Adam finished, frowning and glancing up at Blake.  
“Aww Adam,” Blake started, pulling Adam into a hug. “I’m sorry buddy. Next time I’ll go fishing with fucking Luke Bryan.” He said into Adam’s ear, chuckling at the last part. Adam smiled and hugged Blake a little tighter.

The memory ended, leaving Adam with a throbbing heart that reminded him of how empty he was.  
It was 3AM and Adam was half daydreaming and half actually dreaming about fucking Blake again. How pathetic. Adam stumbles his way to his bathroom and stared himself down for a good three minutes. Finally. I can use it. His shaky hand moved closer to the silver razor blade, as he tightly gripped it and brought it up to his shoulder. I’ll make it jagged, so there can be a believable fake story behind it. And it’ll look cool. Adam shook his head. That wasn’t really what he wanted his mindset to be before he cut himself out of depression. The first cut was shallow. It only felt like a pinch. The second one was deep. His hatred for himself shone through the cut. As blood pooled around the wound, Adam could see his face in his reflection. He had a sudden urge to punch out those (literal) bloodshot eyes, and suddenly his knuckles were stained red with blood. Maybe this was his destiny. Cold and lonely and bloody-fisted forever. What a great curse. 

At 10AM later that same day, Adam found himself curled in a ball on the bathroom floor. He woozily looked around and when he noticed his fist, his eyes opened wide until he remembered what happened around 6 hours earlier. Adam glanced up at his bloody shoulder and saw two cuts, one on top of another. I guess I have to connect them to make it a zigzag. It was so nice. The pain. I stopped thinking. I could only focus on the blood and pain. 

Adam almost smiled in bliss at the remembrance. He wasn’t hungry for food, no. He was hungry for the pain. He slowly stood up, stretching his aching legs. Adam twisted the sink handle, and flinched at the cold water he used to wash his colored fist.  
After he was done, he turned to the blade. It was now a friend. The only friend Adam had. Everyone else left. Adam knew this one wouldn’t. This time Adam was even more ready to cut then before. He held it firmly in his hand, lifted it up to his shoulder and had one last thought. 

Blake doesn’t love me, and he never did. He has Gwen now, and they’re happy. Happy without me.

Adam slowly smiled and soon the blade was bloody, and on the floor. Adam looked at the new cut, which was surrounded by bright red newly pooling blood. The bright red color seemed to form splotches of color in Adam’s vision. The pitch black color of Adam’s empty soul contributed too, and there Adam was, lying on the floor with a sad smile tugging at his lips. The bloody cut had gone too far, going past connecting the two previous cuts. It was just like how Adam went too far, and then his relationship with Blake died.  
What a nice metaphor.


End file.
